Holidays, birthdays and family occasions in kinship care.
Celebrations can bring joy and grief at the same time. Planning ahead can reduce disappointment and help the child keep meaningful family connections.
Part of our Caregiver Wellbeing resource series. See the main Caregiver Wellbeing guide for the wider topic and related resources.
Information reviewed September 2026. Services, program rules and eligibility can change, so use the linked source for current information.
Celebrations can bring grief to the surface.
Birthdays, Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day, graduations and family reunions can remind a child of the parent or family life they wish they had. A child can enjoy the celebration and still be sad, angry or withdrawn.
Ask before assuming what the child wants.
Some children want to make a Mother's Day card for their mother and another for the grandmother raising them. Others want to skip the activity entirely. Give the child options where possible instead of deciding what their family relationship “should” look like.
Plan parent contact before the day arrives.
- Will there be a visit, call or video call?
- What time will it happen?
- What if the parent cancels?
- Can gifts be exchanged?
- Who handles transportation?
- Does a court, GACP or Child Protection plan control the arrangement?
Do not make a holiday depend on the parent showing up.
If contact is uncertain, build the child's day around plans that will happen regardless. A missed visit should not mean the entire birthday or Christmas disappears with it.
Gifts can carry emotional weight.
A very expensive gift, a gift the caregiver has prohibited or a promise attached to a gift can create conflict. Keep adult disagreement away from the child and address patterns through the contact plan when needed.
School family activities can be unexpectedly difficult.
Family trees, Mother's Day, Father's Day and “bring your parents” activities can make children in kinship care feel exposed. Caregivers can quietly tell the teacher that inclusive language such as “important adult” or “someone who cares for you” can help.
Keep traditions that still feel good and create new ones.
Kinship care does not require erasing the child's previous family traditions. A grandfamily can keep meaningful recipes, cultural practices, songs, ornaments or birthday routines while also creating new traditions that belong to the current household.
Social media can complicate family occasions.
Decide who may post photos of the child and whether a parent's public post could reveal private family or Child Protection information. A happy family photograph does not require the child's legal situation to be explained online.
The caregiver may have feelings too.
A grandparent can feel angry at an adult child who misses a birthday, sad that their own retirement years changed, or uncomfortable being celebrated as a parent again. Those feelings deserve support, but they should be processed with another adult rather than placed on the child.
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