Keeping sibling relationships strong when children live apart.
A stable placement does not erase the importance of brothers and sisters. Children may need help maintaining those relationships across different homes.
Part of our Trauma, Grief & Behaviour resource series. See the main Trauma, Grief & Behaviour guide for the wider topic and related resources.
Information reviewed September 2026. Services, program rules and legal processes can change, so use the linked official source for current information.
A child can gain a stable home and still grieve a brother or sister who lives somewhere else.
Siblings may be living with different relatives, a parent, foster caregivers or in another community. Even when separation is necessary, the relationship can remain a major part of the child's identity and sense of family.
Sibling contact deserves its own plan.
Do not assume that parent contact automatically takes care of sibling relationships. Children may need separate time, calls, messages, photographs or shared activities with brothers and sisters.
Follow any legal or child-protection requirements.
If the sibling relationship is covered by a court order, GACP plan, Child Protection direction or formal contact arrangement, follow that process. If the children live in different placements, coordinate with the adults responsible for each child rather than placing the scheduling burden on the children.
Ask the child what connection feels meaningful.
- Regular in-person visits.
- Phone or video calls.
- Shared online games where appropriate.
- Letters, cards or photographs.
- Birthday and holiday traditions.
- Attending important school, sport or family events.
Do not make siblings carry adult information.
A child should not have to report on the parent, another caregiver or a court case through a sibling relationship. Let sibling time be about being siblings whenever possible.
Different placements can create jealousy and guilt.
One child may have more contact with a parent, more money, different household rules or a different legal arrangement. Children can interpret those differences as evidence that someone is more loved or more wanted. Acknowledge the difference without asking one child to feel guilty for being safe or supported.
When siblings do not want the same amount of contact.
Age, trauma, history and personality matter. One child may want frequent contact while another needs more distance. Where you have discretion, avoid forcing intimacy simply because the children are related. The goal is a safe, meaningful relationship, not a perfect photograph of sibling closeness.
If sibling contact becomes upsetting.
Notice patterns before and after visits. Is the child anxious because of the sibling, because the parent appears during contact, because promises are being made, or because the visit reminds them of a loss? The solution may be changing the structure rather than ending the relationship.
Keep sibling planning grounded in the child's actual relationships
Sibling relationships can support identity, belonging and continuity when children live apart. Use the child's views, the applicable PEI legal or Child Protection requirements and the practical realities of distance, safety and transportation to shape the contact plan.
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