Trauma, grief and behaviour are often tangled together.

Information reviewed September 2026. Program rules can change, so use the linked official source for eligibility and current requirements.

Why behaviour can change after a placement

A child may come into kinship care after substance use, violence, neglect, death, incarceration, parental illness, conflict or another major disruption. Even when the new home is safer, the child may still be grieving people, routines, belongings, school, identity and the life they expected.

Behaviour may be communication

Other responses can include clinginess, food hoarding, lying, toileting changes, nightmares, sudden regression, anxiety, poor concentration or intense reactions to ordinary transitions. None of these proves a trauma diagnosis, but they can be signals that the child needs support.

Predictability is powerful

• Keep wake-up, meals, school and bedtime as consistent as possible.
• Give advance warning before changes in routine.
• Use clear, calm limits rather than threats or humiliation.
• Offer age-appropriate choices where you can.
• Explain what will happen next, especially around visits, appointments and court dates.
• Do not make promises about parents or reunification that you cannot control.

Connection and boundaries belong together

Trauma-informed caregiving does not require accepting unsafe or destructive behaviour. Children often need both reassurance and predictable limits. The goal is to correct behaviour without making the child feel that safety, belonging or affection are always at risk.

Contact with parents can bring complicated emotions

Before or after contact, children may become anxious, excited, angry, withdrawn or dysregulated. Caregivers can help by staying neutral about the child's feelings, avoiding loyalty tests, and following any court or child-protection requirements around contact.

Caregivers can experience trauma and grief too

Grandparents and relatives may be grieving what happened to their adult child, the retirement or family life they expected, damaged relationships, financial security and the shock of parenting again. Secondary trauma and chronic stress deserve attention, not embarrassment.

Where PEI caregivers can look for support

When to seek urgent help

If a child or caregiver is in immediate danger, call 9-1-1. PEI's Mental Health and Addictions Phone Line, 1-833-553-6983, is available 24/7 and is answered by trained health professionals. Kids Help Phone is available to children and youth at 1-800-668-6868.

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