Raising a teenager in a grandfamily.

Information reviewed September 2026. Program rules, benefits and services can change, so use the linked official source for current requirements.

Parenting a teenager may look very different from the last time you did it.

For grandparents, there can be a twenty- or thirty-year gap between raising their own teenager and raising a grandchild. Phones, social media, school communication, mental-health language, online relationships and expectations around privacy have changed significantly.

The fundamentals have not changed as much: teenagers still need connection, predictable limits, increasing independence and adults who can stay present through conflict.

Expect the relationship to change.

A teenager may challenge rules more openly, spend more time with peers, want greater privacy or become more vocal about parents and family history. That does not automatically mean the placement is failing.

Try to separate normal adolescent development from trauma responses, mental-health concerns or safety issues.

Rules work better when the teenager knows the reason.

• Set clear expectations around school attendance, curfews, driving and substances.
• Explain the safety reason behind phone or internet limits.
• Review rules as the teenager demonstrates responsibility.
• Avoid making every disagreement a referendum on gratitude or family history.
• Keep consequences proportionate and predictable.

Phones and privacy need a middle ground.

Teenagers need growing privacy, but caregivers still have responsibility for safety. Instead of secretly monitoring everything, create explicit family rules about devices, location sharing where appropriate, social-media privacy, overnight phone use and what circumstances would justify checking a device.

Read the online safety and cyberbullying guide

School problems can be the first sign that something else is wrong.

Attendance, falling grades, conflict, sleep problems or withdrawal can reflect learning difficulties, anxiety, depression, family contact stress, bullying or substance use. PEI Student Well-being Teams work in all public schools and can provide direct support around mental, social and physical health.

PEI Student Well-being Teams

PEI Triple P includes support for caregivers of teenagers.

Triple P is available to people caring for children up to age 18, including grandparents, guardians, foster parents and other alternate caregivers. PEI offers different levels and formats depending on the family's needs.

PEI Triple P Parenting Program

Talk about substances before there is a crisis.

Ask what the teenager already knows about alcohol, cannabis, vaping and other drugs. Focus on safety and decision-making rather than trying to scare them. If substance use is becoming a problem, PEI Youth and Family Addiction Services can work with youth and caregivers.

See addiction and family supports

Parent relationships can become more complicated in adolescence.

Teenagers may seek more direct contact with a parent, question past decisions or idealize a parent they do not live with. They may also become angry about missed visits or family history. Follow legal or GACP arrangements, but involve the young person appropriately in conversations about contact as their age and maturity increase.

Start adulthood planning early.

By age 16 or 17, gradually shift from doing everything for the young person toward teaching them to do it with support: identification, bank account, transportation, appointments, medication knowledge, work, education applications and basic budgeting.